I am Sorcerer Xtreme the Great and Powerful Xaverus of Almighty, Retainer of Truth, the Avatar of Judgment. Long have I lain dormant in the presence of the invisible disenfranchisement of all civilized life.
Yet no longer.
Let it be known now and for all time that the multiclassed buffoon, Paladin Level 2/Barbarian Level 1/Level 4 Cleric, known as J.J. Abrams is a fool. He is no wizard and will always rely upon slight of hand exploitation to rob his audience of their hard earned silver. If he were as intelligent as he wishes you to perceive he would have single classed Rogue and accomplished twice as much income thieving from the drunks outside the Goldshire Inn.
But that’s neither here nor there…
This cinematic artistic wonder known secretly as Project: Cloverfield is mysterious to all save I, Sorcerer Xtreme Great and Powerful Xaverus of Almighty. Mightily angered have I become at the sight of rolling debris clouding city streets reminiscent of 9/11. Did 3,000 people instantly die for the sole entertainment of the apathetic few?
I say thee NAY! As a great man has said, you’re either with us or against us.
I, Xaverus of Almighty hereby release you of all predisposed perceptions and peel back the thin veil of lies and reveal the threat of Cloverfield for what it truly is. An eons-old titanic embodiment of Islamic vengeance awakened by the combined energies of unfiltered ultraviolet rays and condensed greenhouse gasses.
How of all majesty in the universe can the twenty-something in crowd manage to cope in a new world order where they are powerless to stand before the previously unknown wrath of a thousand generations of haltered against western decadence?
FLEE they say, before the transmuted terror and embodiment of your nation’s sins as they impose a less dogmatic, broader view of creation. Kneel before your faults under the weight of all that is unimaginable in service to the inevitable. Lay ready in your doubt to embrace oblivion!
But not today, I bid you stand, Men of the West!!! Stand once more and the curtain will be pulled back to reveal the true form of all doubt and its harmful spawn.
Science, entertainment, indeed all media are controlled, created and influenced by the greatest of occult influences, doubt. Every movie, TV show, newscast, internet idiot, has some form of invocation of doubt, the art form pioneered by the father of modern psychological horror and master of occult mythos, H.P. Lovecraft.
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." Lovecraft weaves the role of doubt into the Cthulhu Mythos with truth being only a fragile construct to rationalize what lies beyond understanding. Only a delicate balance between the elements air, earth, fire, and water stands between flesh and ethereal oblivion.
With the demon Cthulhu an embodiment of elemental water being a counter to creatures of the earth and air, who cannot survive inside the water, Cthulhu represents an incursion of the element water into the other elements. An upset in the balance. The same argument presented by the theory of global warming.
If the Earth was a glass of water with ice, the ice may freeze and unfreeze but the water level would stay the same. Only by creating more ice or water can the water level rise. Even if the polar ice caps were melted away completely the oceans will never rise. No amount of preparation will save us from a threat that’s simply not there.
Recycling is not an efficient use of energy and resources, if it were then production companies would recycle on top of production. Government has to subsidize recycling programs to keep the dream alive. Why does this belief persist? Because of doubt, doubt in the average citizen’s ability to contribute and make a difference in a safe and secure society. So to make the poor feel better about themselves the cult of environmentalism, theory of evolution, global warming, and big hairy Cthulhu in the form of doubt, are promoted as truth by all media.
When society is fatigued of their rat race for the day they will retreat into the confines of their homes only to be assailed by news reports of their impending doom at the hands of the environmental wraith. Movies and TV shows seek to enchant their dreams with promises that their time will come and they will be no more.
One terror to rule them all and in darkness bind them. Great doubt is caused by greatest terror. Doubt is created by dislocation, when something commands your separation from truth. Doubt is the enemy.
Now behold, I bring into presence to you all, the once and true Holy Hand Grenade!
Genesis 8:21
21 When the LORD smelled the pleasing aroma, He said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground because of man, even though man's inclination is evil from his youth. And I will never again strike down every living thing as I have done.
Genesis 9:8-17
8 Then God said to Noah and his sons with him, 9 "Understand that I am confirming My covenant with you and your descendants after you, 10 and with every living creature that is with you—birds, livestock, and all wildlife of the earth that are with you—all the animals of the earth that came out of the ark. 11 I confirm My covenant with you that never again will all flesh be wiped out by the waters of a deluge; there will never again be a deluge to destroy the earth."
12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between Me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all future generations: 13 I have placed My bow in the clouds, and it will be a sign of the covenant between Me and the earth. 14 Whenever I form clouds over the earth and the bow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember My covenant between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh: water will never again become a deluge to destroy all flesh. 16 The bow will be in the clouds, and I will look at it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh on earth." 17 God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant that I have confirmed between Me and all flesh on earth."
[/echoing british voiceover]
